‘When I saw Frankie, it was love at first sight’ purrs woman with spray-on smile that suggests she’s been love-bombed by the Moonies. Frankie, it transpires, is the pussy she rescued from cat cage Hell. Now referred to as her ‘furry alarm clock’, Frankie is the sole repository for the sorry singleton’s affections. Listen love! You’re on your tod because you’re deeply dull, your clothes are covered in ginger hairs and your flat smells of old fish and amonium wee. We trust allegations about the brand are untrue, but kitty might care to take a look at http://www.iamscruelty.com
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