Should I ring the NSPCC? The thing is, I’m becoming increasingly concerned about the welfare of the small Asian child in this advert. What is his dozy Desperate Housewife of a mother feeding him? Given her plummy Knightsbridge accent, I’m guessing foie gras, quail in aspic and pata negra ham from Harrods. The poor poppet is clearly suffering from an inappropriate diet. Not only are his farts worse than a Doberman’s with diarrhoea, he’s been glued to that toilet seat for what seems like years now and hasn’t grown an inch. ‘It’s all gone. It’s all gone!’ he proclaims. Well flush the bloody loo and open a window, you stunted stinker!
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