Michelin

As an L driver, I was advised never to resort to retreaded tyres. So it’s curious that Michelin Man should roll with what sounds like a retread of The Gorillaz (Michelin's UK PR was unable to say who  the actual artist is). The similarity is even more uncanny on the American version of this global commercial. Search ‘Michelin Sad Road’ on YouTube and find the UK voiceover replaced by a dude who sounds spookily like the late Dennis Hopper on the band’s Fire Coming out of the Monkey’s Head. I digress: the real story here is that fluffy potential roadkill should rejoice. Their salvation lies in a tyre that can stop in nanoseconds thanks to its grip. As for midnight stoners stumbling across this freaky animated trip, they’ll be gripped... like rabbits in oncoming headlights.

Watch it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jct1XSUjwAM  

Jackpotjoy.com

Forgetting I’d left the TV on down the hall, when first I heard this ad’s soundtrack as noises off, I feared a kookaburra had invaded my sitting room. Closer inspection revealed the horrendous cackle as none other than that of Peggy Mitchell risen, phoenix-like, from the ashes of the burnt-out Queen Vic to be crowned the Queen of Bingo in a skit that recalls ancient variety show, The Good Old Days. It seems The People’s Pearly Queen, Babs (no relation to those stuck-up Windsors down the Mall) has hit the jackpot here. Released from her BBC contract, the ‘national treasure’ can finally afford a wig that looks, oh, about 15% real rather than those hideous acrylic haystacks the game old bird sweated under while tending to her bingo-brained brood in Walford.  

Watch it here

http://tinyurl.com/2g4nwz2 

Littlewoods

In marketing terms, Coleen is now a one word brand in her own right. Serendipitous, should she ever decide, for whatever reason, to leave her husband and kill off  the golden cow that is ‘brand Rooney’. A certain type of woman identifies with Coleen, I’m told, but since I’m  for Mars, I don’t get it. Do women buy a new frock because they like the cut of its cloth, or out of sisterly sympathy for a brand ambassador who happens to be hitched to someone who might have been outplayed by a lame donkey in South Africa but, back in England, allegedly manages to score a hat-trick, playing away from home? Baffling!  Anyway, here’s Col looking chipper enough at Littlewoods boot camp. If the woman has an ounce of sense, she’ll take Nancy Sinatra’s lyrics to heart and boot Shrek into touch. Are the peeps at Littlewoods Roo-ing the day they signed up to a media circus that would see Everton fans taunting an absent Wayne as they broke into an old Bob Marley hit, its lyrics tweaked to 'No woman, no Kai'?

Watch  Coleen here http://tinyurl.com/34rn3ku